The Normal Record. March 1898

              THE NORMAL RECORD.
13
coming up to the golden gate he rang the
bell and waited. With dignified tread a man
came and opened the small window at the
side and asked the question, " Who's there ?"
The Senator from Idaho said, "I, me, the
Senator from Idaho." The gate-keeper replied, saying, " You may enter now, but an
examination of your life and charactei will
come up in a few days and you may be turned
out again." The Senator from Idaho let loose
one of those condescending smiles, the gates
flew open, and, as he walked up the long
corridors, a " Rebert's Rules of Order " could
be seen conspicuously placed in one of his
pockets.
The Senator employed himself looking about
the ground two days, when the trial was
brought up. The Big Medicine Man sat as
Chairman, with twelve wise advisers near
him as the jury. The Senator was to present his own defense. There needed no calling to order, and the Chairman presented
the following complaints against the Senator:
"Mr. Senator, during your stay upon my
congenial outpost—the earth—I find that
you have done many exceedingly wrong
things.    You   have   bee a   a  little selfish in
your "    The  Senator  did  not  wait  for
the statement to be completed, but rose
hastily from his seat and yelled  out,   "Mr.
Chairman, I  rise   fer   information.    I  "
A frown crossed the Chairman's face as he
said in a stern tone, "This is no place for
such haranguing, and I will have none of it."
The hot blood surged to the Senator's
cheeks, as he again yelled out, "Mr. Chairman, ' Robert's Rules of Order' say that
rising for information takes precedence over
anything but the orders of the day." Jerking the book from his pocket, the Senator
continued: "Just look on page 2, Article
III,   Section V,   if   you don't believe it.    It
reads  "    "Stop a moment," interrupted
the Chairman, "we will go on with the trial
and the giving of complaints, and then you
may raise any points in your favor that you
may choose."
The Senator awkwardly acquiesced. "As
I said before," continued the Chairman, "you
have been a little selfish, dominated a little
over society by a few technical points which
you   had   at   your   tongue's end "    The
Senator jumped up, indignation showing itself
upon every line of his face. " Mr. Chairman,
I want to know if I have to set here and
listen to these outrageous complaints with
no chance to protect myself." "Just hold on
a moment, Mr. Senator, I told you before
that you should have the floor when I got
through, and you must check yourself until
then." The Senator fumbled the "Robert's
Rules of Order," and muttering something
about, "not according to Constitution,"
slowly sat down.
The Chairman went on piling up accusations
while the Senator sat uneasily in his chair
and inwardly writhed. If only the Senator
from California were there to help him out
with legal advice ! Several times he leaned
forward preparatory to getting up, while his
ears took on all shades and hues of red, but
his judgment evidently got the better of him
for once, and he remained there until the
Chairman had completed his statements.
The Senator then startled the whole
heavens by _ a speech so interspersed with
"Robert's Rules of Order," and according
to something or other, that the wise men and
the Chairman gave up trying to follow him,
leaving all to his speech. The wise men
looked dubiously at one another. The silence
was only broken by the Chairman, who,
rising, said, "As the Senator has so thoroughly defended himself, has shown that his
whole life on earth was not given to foolishness, but to the study of something which, I
am sorry to say, I am not well up on, I move
you that we admit him to these grounds, and
that he be made our legal adviser in every
sense, also that several copies of those
"Robert's Rules of Order " be obtained, enlarged and distributed among my people, as
they may be greatly benefitted by them."
All the wise men nodded their assent in
unison.
The dream was interrupted for a few minutes, but it seemed a few years in dreamland, and as I looked again I saw the, Big
Medicine Man seated upon his throne. About
him were the wise men and the Senator—the
legal adviser. All was peace. In front of
him, embossed in gold, and upon a gold
stand, were two immense books—the Koran
and " Robert's Rules of Order."
Trojia.